defeated

feeling * * * * N

Sorry, yesterday i couldnt stand ...i m suppose to work..and be strong
my whole body is shiverring ...everything i do it remind me about you.
even my new colleagues name is Seah and is the exact pronounciation.
it so hard to call the name..and i have to work wit him.

god is punishing me, and i deserve to be punish.

i really want to move on and put on the smile ..but my smile drown.
it is ugly is it not the same..it is not me ...
i m like a ship sinking in the middle of the sea..and now it sink very deeply
becuase i love him so deeply.

dar ask me not to think..and i wan to listen to him not to think. But when i close my eyes telling myself hundred times i need to sleep i need to sleep..but i see him ..hurting and i start crying.

People i did my best. i really tried..

Diana you ask me to cry one minute , but when i start crying is so hard to stop.

i want to tell him i m sorry, but he wouldnt trust me anymore. I lost his trust .
i miss him very much i wan to hug him and tell him how much i love him. But now i couldnt ..
he wouldnt listen...anymore.

he do not need me anymore T T.. and i couldnt take it.

Yes faith bring us apart. but faith is still on my hand...and i dont want to loose it.. i will hold on it very tight..and i wont let it go..

Ps; he is the best man in the whole world.