Thursday, June 4, 2009

it is the biggest test

feeling * * * N

i m hanging in here..being strong ..even though i cry..i tel myself..if darling see me cry..he will feel sad ..so no i m not crying..i m going to eat n work n eat n work..and tell him how beautiful is the world is...i m not dead yet..i will stil be guat lu..smiling laughing like a crazy girl and be who i m.

diana u r right, it is the last biggest test...if i n him can go through this...definitely it wont be the same but it will be something..i m telling my self to stop thinking but think positively...i dont want to force him like how i always force him..he is in pain ..T T and i cant stop feeling the pain too.

i dont wan to change him..he is who he is..
i know how tough it is now to climb this mountain...i need the strength..n i know i cant reach the mountain in one day..it is hard ..it might take years..and many more ups and down...and there will be more things i have to accept ..but i m not afraid ..i dont want to be defeated.

now i m going work,

and believe myself that i can do it.

ps: god please take care of him, he will do well in his exams.

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